Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
