Dual....:-)
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
