I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
