I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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