it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
