it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
