Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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