I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
