Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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