Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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