I hate all girls vehemently.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
