I'm laying in your front yard are you home
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
