gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
