I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
