He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
