Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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