I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
