Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
