I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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