why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
