Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
