I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
