He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
