peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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