I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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