Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
