OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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