So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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