i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
