thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
