ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
