We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
