Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
