It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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