You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
