i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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