Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Pooping to opera.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
