He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
