It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
