She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
