You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
