Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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