We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
