Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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