He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
