Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
