I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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