I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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