Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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