Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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