Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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