Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
