So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
