I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
