I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
