He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
