At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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