who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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